When we find ourselves on the cusp of reaching our dreams, nearly overcome by the fatigue of late nights and the hunger of much deserved success and acknowledgement, it is easy to lose sight of our true selves. One’s personal journey is never easy, in actuality; following our dreams with all that we have is probably the hardest thing that we will ever undertake. We are tested every step of the way so that when we finally reach our destination, not only are we happy but our hearts are light and filled with gratitude and love to share with others. We are better in tune with the infinite.
As I embarked on my journey to manifest my dreams and fully live with purpose, I’ve been faced with many hardships and barriers along the way. We often think that our dreams are unattainable for this very reason. When we see obstacles in our way, instead of having the courage and faith to strive all the more, we often fall victim to fear and our own self-doubt. Fear is an illusion. The things that we fear most in life only exist within the barriers of our mind. We create these false illusions as restraints because not pursuing our dreams is a lot easier than having faith. To go against what we’ve been taught and indoctrinated to do is often intimidating. Maybe you’ve noticed the same to be true with your own personal journey. As young people of color especially, we are encouraged to pursue our dreams only if they fit within the four corners of the box that society, or our family, has constructed for us. By trying to mold our dreams to fit into this box, we succumb to the fear that limits us and we will never reach absolute happiness.
I’ve completely done away with fear. “Fear and God cannot occupy the same space,” I recently learned from civil rights icon and comedian Dick Gregory. Fear and I cannot even be in the same room; one of us will lose. Recognizing my trials and, at times, seemingly negative experiences as truly a part of the journey has shaped my perspective on life and has positively influenced my relationship with self and with others. My fearlessness has inspired those around me to dwell within the same mindset and to set out on their own journeys to self-fulfillment. It has also caused others to place their own fears, like burdens, upon me. That energy is consuming. Even if it comes from a place of love, fear is toxic. To let others place their fears upon you gives that person the power to control the direction of your dream. Instead of being in the driver seat of our own car, directing our dreams, by taking on the fear of others, we give them permission to blindly direct and steer our car for us. I never want to be in the passenger seat on the road to realizing my dream. I want to drive. Even if I get tired and have to stop for gas occasionally, allowing someone else’s fear to drive me is like giving them permission to crash and totally wreck my dream.
We lose sight of our true selves when we let others take control of our dreams. I’ve learned that as I pursue my deepest desires, I will be faced with many challenges that will test the faith that I have in myself. It will also make those around me uncomfortable because living in my truth requires everyone who comes in contact with me to question his or her own truths and reality; and adjust. It is easy to become distracted and fearful of change but victory is awarded to the one who perseveres and never loses sight of the end goal. We learn and grow the more we struggle; we win. We lose when we submit our dreams to the fears of those around us.
Be patient with yourself. Practice gratitude. Be thankful for every struggle and every misstep. Every time that I have a setback, instead of complaining, I practice sincere gratitude. I’ve become truly thankful for the adversity and hardship that I’ve experienced in my life. Instead of using pain as a crutch to stop me from following my dreams, I turn my poison into medicine. The lessons that I have gained and the knowledge that I have received in the midst of all adversity has made me who I am and has equipped me with knowledge that one can only receive through experience. For that I will always be thankful. Gratitude is what lightens our heavy hearts.
Be in tune with the universe. Meditate. Meditating and chanting has allowed me to find peace of mind. Some of us don’t know what we want in life or from our lovers because our mind has not been quiet long enough to tell us. By being in tune with the universe, we uplift ourselves. I can no longer operate on low levels or dwell in dissatisfaction because meditation has allowed me to elevate and understand the oneness of self. Jay Electronica’s “Better In Tune With The Infinite,” is a song that has helped me on my personal journey. Sometimes the best we can do for ourselves and for those around us is to distance ourselves, whether physically or mentally, so that we may be better in tune with our dreams and with ourselves to manifest infinite possibilities. Only then can we know peace and love and then, and only then, can we share it with others.
Originally published for Black Girl In Om, March 2015.
written by MJ